


Empty Without You

by Latenightbookworm



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, M/M, The Empty (Supernatural), fixing it before they break it, post-episode s15e18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27480547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latenightbookworm/pseuds/Latenightbookworm
Summary: Set immediately after the events of S15E18, Dean is struggling to come to terms with Castiel's death. He is determined to get Cas back so he can tell him how he feels.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 81





	1. Previously on Supernatural

**Author's Note:**

> Short little intro here, the rest of the chapters will be longer. Hoping to fix how they handle (or more likely, ignore) destiel after this last episode...  
> Hope you enjoy!

Dean pushes himself up to sitting, numb, confused, still not entirely sure what had just happened. Cas… The Empty… Cas is. Cas is gone. He can’t be, but –

When they walked into that room Dean had been so sure they were both going to die and he’d have to watch Billie kill Cas in front of him. It’s happened before, but it never gets easier. He’d thought nothing could be worse. And then Cas started talking about his deal. And he was so confused, but Cas kept going, talking about his happiness and the Empty and Dean felt the heaviest dread… And then Cas said, “I love you” and Dean’s mind just went blank. He’d thought nothing could be more painful than watching Cas die, but he was so wrong. Having that chance, hearing those words he thought he’d never get to hear, just for Cas to get ripped away from him, forever – he’d been so wrong.

His phone started to ring as he sat there, numb. He looked down and saw Sam’s name, but he couldn’t answer and for some reason that was it. That was what made it real. He didn’t know how Sam had found the strength to keep going when Eileen died because he just - Cas was gone. How could he – He dropped the phone, hid his face in his hands and sobbed.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is distressed, Sam is confused.

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there, grief pouring out like nothing before. It seemed like no time had passed or maybe a lifetime, but the next thing he knew Sam was there, looking frantic and calling his name.

“Dean! Dean what happened, you didn’t answer any of my calls, I thought you were both dead! Where’s Cas? It wasn’t Death, it was Chuck the whole time, we need to talk about what to do next, what’s our plan.” Sam paused, looking at Dean’s distraught face. “…Dean? What happened?”

“He’s gone, Sam. Cas is gone.”

“What do you mean, he’s gone?”

“I mean he’s gone, Sam!” Suddenly, Dean was on his feet, grief turning to anger. “He’s gone and I didn’t get a chance—I’ll never get to –” He cut himself off with a pained sound and clenched his eyes shut, turning away.

“It’s not just Cas, Dean. Everyone else, everyone from Apocalypse world we thought we’d gotten to safety, even Donna. They’re all gone, Chuck’s killing everyone off,” Sam said gently. If he thought Dean would react to this, pull himself together to come up with a new plan, he was wrong. Dean didn’t even flinch, too caught up in his own grief and anger. “Dean, did you hear me? We need a new plan. I don’t know what else to do, how to take down Chuck.”

“No.”

“…What?” Sam looked at Dean in confusion, sure he heard wrong. Dean was staring at the floor, anger clear in his eyes, now accompanied by determination.

“No. I need to get Cas back.”

“Dean, I don’t think – Look I don’t know if we can now. Chuck just disintegrated them all. We need to-”

“No, Sam! Chuck didn’t kill Cas! And I need to, I am _going to_ bring him back!”

Sam was beyond confused at this point. If Chuck hadn’t killed Cas, what happened here? All he knew was they had been planning on killing Death, but he wasn’t even sure if they had succeeded. Dean looked so distraught; Sam didn’t think he’d ever seen him like this.

“Dean… What happened? Did you kill Billie? And what… What exactly happened to Cas?”

Dean didn’t answer for long enough that Sam thought he might not at all. But then he took a deep breath, like he was steeling himself.

“We confronted Billie in her library, but she was already dying. It wasn’t her killing everyone, but she was intent on killing us. We ran back here, locked ourselves in and Cas-” Dean can’t bring himself to keep going, tell Sam the most painful part. “The Empty took Cas and Billie.”

“The Empty?” Sam wasn’t sure this really cleared things up. “What was The Empty doing here? How did it even – you know what, that’s not what we need to focus on here. Look, Dean, I’m sorry, but we need to focus on Chuck, set up a new plan of action.”

“I told you, I need to get Cas back.”

“I know, Dean, but we need to figure out what to do about Chuck before he destroys the whole world. We’ve got to prioritize right now and I know it’s hard but-”

“No, Sam, you don’t know anything!” Dean yelled, nothing but pain in his voice. “I can’t think about Chuck right now, I NEED TO GET CAS BACK!”

Sam stopped in shock. How was this the same man who, earlier that day, had pulled a gun on him for trying to stop their plan to kill Chuck, had said there was nothing more important than stopping Chuck, nothing he wouldn’t sacrifice. Clearly something had changed, something had happened to make Dean do a complete 180 on that stance.

“Okay. Okay, Dean. Let’s just go upstairs, we’ll figure out what to do next. We’ll… figure something out,” Sam said softly. He could tell he needed to handle Dean carefully. They needed a break, some time to sit with everything that had happened, maybe then Dean would calm down and see reason. As difficult as it was, knowing Cas was gone, they had to keep pushing forward. Sam knew he was in denial of Eileen’s death, knew that he would have to deal with that pain at some point, but they had a whole world to save and not a lot of time. Chuck was closing in, had already started wiping people from existence, and they had no plan anymore. Once the shock of watching The Empty take Cas wore off though, Sam was sure Dean would understand that they needed to prioritize the world over their friend.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is still confused, but decides to help before Dean does something too stupid. Jack's just trying to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some BS LATIN IN HERE Y'ALL please don't judge me (or try to translate it, seriously, it's shit)

They sat at the table in the library as Sam and Jack told Dean what had happened at the silo. Sam was growing increasingly concerned for Dean as he just sat there, staring at his drink and not responding to anything they said. He wasn’t even positive Dean was hearing what they were saying to him. Dean took it hard every time Cas had died before, but something was different this time, worse, and Sam wasn’t sure why. When they finished their story, Dean still just sat there, unmoving.

“Dean? You got anything, any ideas?” When Dean still didn’t respond, Sam tried again. “Look, Cas was my friend too. I know it’s hard right now, but we don’t have a lot of time.”

“It’s not the same, Sam. It’s not the same for me. I’m trying to come up with something, but we don’t have anything on The Empty. We know nothing about it and I don’t know what to do.” Dean sounded so defeated, his voice small. Sam realized Dean really hadn’t heard anything he and Jack had said, too caught up in trying to think of some way to save Cas.

“Well, it’s not much,” Jack suddenly spoke up, “but I have been there twice now. I don’t know a lot, but I can still sort of sense it. I think having gone there and come back left some kind of connection. Maybe I can help?”

Dean looked up sharply, the tiniest spark of hope burning in his eyes. Jack started telling them everything he could remember from his time in The Empty. Sam still wasn’t sure this was what they should be focusing on at the moment with Chuck still killing off people left and right, but one look at Dean’s intense focus on Jack told him that argument was a lost cause. Hopefully they could either save Cas or get Dean to realize it wasn’t possible, and soon.

They had a plan worked out in a couple of hours, though they would need to get a hold of Michael, who hadn’t been answering any of their prayers. It involved Jack using some of Michael’s grace to reach The Empty and open a portal back to the bunker – risky, and barely a plan, but if Michael agreed, they had a chance. A small one, but it was better than nothing. Still, it all hinged on being able to find Michael.

“We’ve been trying to contact him for days, why would he answer now? There’s got to be some way to track him down,” Dean said desperately.

“Okay, I’ll hit the books, see if I can find anything.” Sam has reluctantly joined this insane plan if only because he’s pretty sure Dean would do something massively stupid if he didn’t.  
“Jack, you said you think you can sense The Empty, keep feeling out where it is so you’re ready i- _when_ Michael gets here.”

Sam starts pulling different books down that he thinks might have something useful. Jack closes his eyes, clearly focused on the faint sense of The Empty. And Dean… Dean doesn’t know what to do with himself as they wait. He feels as though if he has too much time to sit with his thoughts, he’ll just curl up on the floor crying again, the numbness from earlier threatening to reappear. So he stands and heads to the kitchen, grabbing beers for himself and Sam. Back in the library, he grabs one of the books Sam has pulled and starts flipping through. With both of them going through, they’ll find something to help even faster. Sam looks up at him from his own book and breathes in like he’s about to say something. Dean shakes his head.

“Not, not now, Sammie. I just. I can’t talk about it right now,” Dean mutters, not looking up at him. Sam nods and goes back to looking for a tracking spell.

Dean starts getting frustrated after two hours of searching and coming up blank. They’ve found almost nothing, trying a couple spells they thought might be close enough to work, but getting nothing for their efforts. 

Suddenly, Sam shouts. “I’ve got something! I think this one will definitely work, Dean we’ve got him,” Sam says eagerly. “It should even summon him here.”

Dean moves to look over Sam’s shoulder so fast he’s not entirely sure how he got there. Sam seems to have found something called a Calling Spell, that only works if you know the one you are calling. Skimming over the spell itself, it looks like Sam is right; it should work even for an archangel and he should be summoned here when they have completed it. 

“Okay. Let’s do this,” Dean says with determination, habitually looking over his shoulder before catching himself. Cas isn’t there to follow him into this one - that’s the whole point. Dean has gotten so used to his presence over the years, though, and it hits him fresh that he’s gone. And this time, he may not get him back.

Dean shakes it off. Of course he will get him back, there is no other option. He reads over the spell, practicing the words he’ll have to say. Sam starts gathering the ingredients they need and, not for the first time, Dean is grateful they found this bunker and that it’s so well stocked. Once they have everything gathered together, Sam adds the first ingredients and Dean begins.

“Vocavi te archangelis Michaelis explicitas et ego inde animorum impetus excitetur sacra itineratur.”

Sam adds the second half of the ingredients and waits for Dean to finish the spell before he burns everything.

“Ego præcipio tibi, sequere vocatio meam, veni ad locus meum. Ego præcipio tibi, sequere vocatio meam, veni ad locus meum. Ego præcipio tibi, sequere vocatio meam, veni ad locus meum.”

As soon as Dean finishes the last recitation, Sam lights the ingredients. There’s a bang and a flash that sends them all jumping back and pulling out their blades. When the smoke clears and they can all see again, Michael is standing in front of them, brushing off his jacket.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it comes, y'all, the happy ending!!

Michael does not look overly pleased to be standing in the bunker’s library. His obvious irritation doesn’t phase Dean though, too hopeful to be deterred now that Michael is there and they are one step closer to getting Cas back.

“Good, you’re here,” Dean says brusquely. “We need your help.”

Michael raises an eyebrow. “No hello? I know we agreed to help you stop my father, but I certainly didn’t agree to getting yanked around the planet like a dog on a leash.”

“It’s not God, not yet.” Dean is impatient to get started. “It’s Cas. The Empty took him, I need to get him back, you’re going to help.”

“Am I?” Michael says. “I’m not sure-”

“Look, man, all we need is your help opening a portal. Please,” Dean is practically begging. “Jack knows where it is, I’ll go in and get him, all you have to do is open a portal.”

Michael looks taken aback. Dean hadn’t seemed this desperate even when they had asked him to help them take down his father. Glancing over at Sam it seems he is unsure where this uncharacteristic desperation is coming from too. Sam’s reluctant acceptance that there is no stopping Dean from getting Cas back, no matter what, is what brings Michael around. 

“Fine. But anything goes wrong, I am not diving in to help you.”

“That’s fine, of course. Thank you, Michael,” Dean says, relieved and even more hopeful than before. Now with Michael on his side, they have everything in place to start this insane plan. He turns to Jack.

“Okay kid, you ready?” Dean looks hard at Jack where he has been focused on following the connection he feels to The Empty.

“I’m ready.” Jack looks up at Michael. “I will help you find The Empty, so you can open the portal. I’ll go in with Dean, make sure he gets back out okay.”

Sam catches a glimpse of Dean’s face as Jack says this and isn’t thrilled to see his apparent dismissal of the last sentence. He’s afraid that whatever is pushing him to get Cas back won’t let him return without the angel. He can only hope that this plan works; he can’t lose his brother too, not after Eileen and all the others.

Jack walks over to Michael and puts his hand on his shoulder. His eyes start glowing gold and Michael’s light up blue-white. Sam realizes this is happening now and he has one chance to say something to Dean before he goes barrelling into this place they know practically nothing about.

“Dean, wait,” Sam says urgently. “Before you go. I don’t know why this is suddenly more important to you than stopping Chuck. But I need you to come back. I hope this works, I really do. But Dean, I can’t lose you too. I can’t do this without you.”

Dean looks back at him, determination written all over his face, but sadness in his eyes. “You won’t need to, Sammie. This will work. It has to.”

Sam knows he’s putting a brave face on for his little brother. He wishes this didn’t feel like goodbye and knows all he can do is have faith that they will return - all three of them. With that, Dean turns back around and Michael snaps his fingers, opening a burning crack in the air next to him. Dean marches in, Jack close behind him. Sam has nothing to do but wait until they get back, wait and hope. 

Dean looks around and sees nothing when they walk through the portal. He isn’t sure how he’s standing because there doesn’t seem to be a ground or walls or any sort of dimension at all really. He’s never experienced anything like this absence of anything, this void, and he knows if he stays here too long he will quite literally go insane. He looks over at Jack, who seems slightly less thrown by this place, though Dean is unsure he can even call it a place.

“The Empty doesn’t like being disturbed,” Jack tells him. “From what I remember, it just wants to rest, to have quiet and sleep.”

“Well, then. Let’s poke the bear.” Dean realizes this is the least amount of planning that has gone into any plan he has ever made, and he’s notorious for running in guns ablazing. Still, he can only work with what he’s got, and apparently all he’s got here is being a nuisance.

“Hey! Hey Assbutt! You’ve got something of mine and I want him back!” Dean starts shouting into this void and walking around, unsure if he’ll know when, or if, it has heard him. “You hear me? I’m not leaving until you give him back! You understand? I will be here until the end of time itself if that’s what it takes! You want peace, well I want Castiel! I’m sure you can work a solution out!”

Suddenly the nothing in front of him ripples and morphs into a familiar figure. What looks like Meg is standing before him, but this is definitely not Meg. It bares its teeth at him, clearly beyond angry.

“How is it I managed to sleep for eons without a single disturbance and then you people, you and your friends come along and ruin everything! No! I will not give in, not this time! I have had enough!” The Empty shouts, pushing closer and closer to Dean, forcing him backwards. “You are going to leave or you are going to die. Your choice,” it hisses.

“How about neither, you bastard,” Dean growls. He punches the thing square in the jaw, knocking it back mostly from shock. He can tell it wasn’t expecting this much of a fight. The Empty hisses and launches at Dean, morphing back into the viscous void and holding him down. He struggles, keeping the fight going as long as he can.

Jack, meanwhile, has been searching for Cas in the nothingness with his grace while Dean keeps The Empty distracted. He touches on the echoes of consciousnesses, more than he could ever possibly imagine, searching for the one most familiar to him. As Dean continues to shout at The Empty, he feels a slight difference, almost like the feeling you get when you are waking up and you know it’s happening, but you want to stay asleep. He pushes back at that oddity, nudging it awake faster, and the nothingness seems to pull back like a curtain. Cas is in front of him, not quite conscious yet, but coming around. He runs up to him, throwing his arms around him. Cas seems to come alive at this, his arms coming up around Jack. After only a moment, Cas steps back, confused.

“Jack? What are you doing here?”

“Dean was determined to get you back, he wouldn’t talk about anything else,” Jack explains. 

“Dean is here?” Cas exclaims. “He can’t be here, it’s not safe.”

Cas strides off to where Dean is still struggling against The Empty, shouting at it as it tries to keep him down. Jack follows quickly, knowing Cas has no power here. When they reach Dean and The Empty, Cas grabs it and yanks. The shock of being attacked from behind and Cas’s not insignificant force pull the being off of Dean, who looks up at Cas in wonder.

“Cas,” Dean breathes out, slightly amazed they actually found him.

“Hello Dean,” Cas answers, then stabs The Empty with the angel blade Dean can never figure out where he hides. The Empty is largely unfazed, though it seems marginally angrier. Dean and Cas quickly realize this is a losing battle, every hit they land doing almost nothing to this unbelievably powerful entity. If nothing else, they have managed to work their way backwards towards the rift that is still open behind them. Suddenly, Jack jumps between them and The Empty, a wave of power roaring out of his hands towards it.

“Go! Get out, I can hold it off!” He shouts over his shoulder, voice strained with the effort of holding The Empty back.

“Kid, what are you doing?”

“Jack, no!”

Dean realizes what this is. Jack is so desperate to prove himself and make it up to him after killing his mom, but Dean knows in this moment, he can’t hold it against Jack any more. He’s not sure if he ever really did, or if it was just his anger at losing her again that made him blame Jack and push him away. He grabs Jack by the shoulder and starts pulling him backwards as they move towards the rift. Jack keeps holding off The Empty as they move.

As soon as they reach the rift, Dean shouts, “Now!” Jack gives one extra push and they all jump through the portal. Back in the bunker now, Michael immediately slams it closed and they all catch their breath, laying on the floor. Sam is on his feet, asking what happened, if they are all okay, but all Dean can hear is Cas. Jack is laying there next to them, clearly exhausted, but all Dean can see is Cas.

He stands up, pulling Cas to his feet with him, his hands on Cas’s arms, feeling him solidly in front of him, definitely alive.

“Cas,” Dean starts. “I thought I lost you.”

“I’m right here Dean.”

“I know, but I- you were,” Dean isn’t sure how to say all the things he is feeling, and has been feeling since Cas gave his goodbye speech only a day ago. “Cas, I-” he tries one more time, before giving up on words entirely.

Dean pulls Cas into a kiss, pouring everything he is feeling into it, his hands sliding up Cas’s arms to grip in his hair. If he can’t tell Cas just how much he means to him, how he couldn’t go on without him, especially knowing that Cas feels the same, he will do everything he can to show him. Dean doesn’t notice Sam’s shocked face fading to realization, understanding now why Dean had been so frantic. Cas’s hands move, one to his waist and one to the handprint that is on his jacket and seared into his arm. Everything stops around them, all the panic, the desperation of the last day fading away and all Dean can feel is Cas, nothing but Cas. The only one to ever truly know him, and love him despite everything, the one person he has come to depend on always being there for him, who is always there when he calls. 

Eventually he has to pull away, but he doesn’t go far, cannot possibly be far away from him now. He rests his head against Cas’s and softly says, “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! This is literally my first time in 10 years writing fanfic, it was just too inspiring. It needed to be written. Let me know what you thought!


End file.
